June 7th, 2023, I browsed my posted content earlier and realized I have not since written a life update on being a mother to 2, and my experience thus far. I’m somewhat “surprised”, motherhood is supposed to be the highlight of my life, at least so I imagined. I imagined it to be what I speak of the most. I never imagined I would keep postponing a motherhood post simply because I do not want to speak truthfully about my experience thus far.
I look forward to brighter days on this journey. Ever since I’ve become a mother to 2, this journey has been overwhelming. On most days I am overstimulated and burnt out.
Before I became a mother, I was excited to mother my kids. To build a great family alongside the kid’s father. I still love mothering my kids, no doubt about that, and I remain optimistic about the future. This is what I was called to do, and I still desire family life. Every day is a new experience on this journey. It is full of many tears as well as many laughter.
. . .
This motherhood journey has been stressful for me and has been lonely. It is such a fragile journey a woman can embark on. It takes courage and faith to live through those days when you feel like giving up. I always say to myself I do not know how I am doing it. I have no choice but to acknowledge that God is literally carrying me.
The person you choose to have kids with is super important and I can see how it relates to my experience in motherhood.
Of course, I wanted to become a mother, and yes, of course, I chose to become a stay-at-home mother so I could give my kids the attention they need. But just as I chose those decisions it is also just as important for me to be away from the kids to be able to have alone time.
In this season, I’ve realized, there are some things I would like to do outside motherhood.
