My name is Danicker. I am the main writer on this website. I created and designed this website myself. This online space is where I come to share my thoughts that can positively impact another human being. I am a mother. I gave birth to 2 girls. The father of my kids, him and I are separated and have been separated since 2021. When we met back in 2016, I was employed. Studying Criminology while also pursuing a career path that would allow me to use that educational training. I’ve since chosen to become a stay-at-home mother. My 2 kids are homeschooled; they’re homeschooled by me. From 2016 right to this very present moment in 2024, I have found purpose in my experience. I’ve learned lessons. If someone were to ask me what advice for single mothers I can share based on my own experiences, these 3 messages would be:
SEEK GOD.
Our walk with Christ is very individual-based; the relationship looks different for everyone. Because of where I’m at on my journey, I tend to get a bit preachy. Ready to give a message referencing the Bible. But I’ve realized, just by self-evaluating, that not everyone may appreciate that type of energy based on where they’re at on their journey.
The more I grow in my relationship with God, the more I strongly desire only what He wants for me. And not what I want for myself. The only way I can continue to live in faith is by meditating on his word daily and seeking him. Especially in my uncertain moments.
Something I always cry out to God and say is, “God, I cannot do this alone; I need a man to help me raise your kids; I am not strong enough to do this alone.”
But as each day comes, I do the very same thing I say I cannot do. And as I recently explained something to someone, I received a revelation while speaking to them. “In your weakness, I am made strong”. 2 Corinthians 12: 9. I’ve read this a few times before, but the way it came to me while I was speaking, it made sense.
I do not know how I continue to do it. This is not my strength. I could never; I’m too weak to do this every day, 24/7, but I do it anyway, and at the end of each day, I’m always in awe, because it’s unbelievable.
CULTIVATE THE RELATIONSHIP WITH YOURSELF, AND DEVELOP YOURSELF.
In an attempt to grow a deeper relationship with myself, I pay attention to my emotions throughout each day. When I’m feeling sad, for example, I try to find the cause, and once I do, I basically sit with the feeling, feel it, and experience it in my own little bubble. My aim isn’t to stay in victim mode but instead to learn how to better manage my emotions when they arise without negatively affecting others. Or simply ignore those emotions.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God.” Philippians 4:6.
As long as we live, there’s always room for us to improve ourselves. This looks different for everyone. If you have the privilege to obtain knowledge and learn new skills through free or paid courses, I say do it if you have goals you would like to reach. There are sites such as Coursera, which I’ve used before, DataCamp, and Udemy. This brings me to my last message.
DO NOT RUSH INTO A RELATIONSHIP.
I do believe there are genuine males in existence who are submitted to God. You are a child of God. You are loved; you are valued. Do not be desperate to be in a relationship that you settle for, submitting yourself to whom you weren’t created for.
Whatever it is you desire, if it’s a husband, ask God, and He will supply your needs in His time. He’s done it for me many times and continues to do it; sometimes it’s a longer wait. Don’t try to do things your way because you’re impatient. I’m getting used to the idea that my purpose in this lifetime here on earth is probably just to remain in singleness. Be a good mother. And serve the Lord and my kids. We have to be ok with whatever Christ’s will is for us. Because if we are submitted as we should be, that is what it takes. I’m also learning that the more we seek the Lord and feed on His word daily, the more we’ll be filled. And it’ll be enough to fill the void of emptiness we often feel. (I’m not yet here, but I am getting there.)
“Whoever will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.” Mark 8:34.
In your waiting, do many self-reflecting, and self-evaluations, and learn how to release the situations that are still hurting you. Build on those areas you’re weak in, whether it’s your finances, your impatient attitude, your cooking, or simply your ability to serve.
Your singleness has a purpose.
