So, I get it, you have finally decided you need to set boundaries for yourself, but your question Is, “How to set healthy boundaries for myself?” I totally understand you, because I was once there. In this post, I have listed 3 ways to set healthy boundaries. Ever since realizing the importance of healthy boundaries, I have actively implemented them in my life. To others, you may appear self-absorbed, arrogant, rude, or selfish. These are just a few of what others might think, but, do you care about what they think or do you care about creating a safe space for you?
That is what boundary does, it allows you to be yourself. To have a voice for yourself. Having healthy boundaries allows you to set the standard for how others interact with you. Boundaries are necessary in order to maintain order in our life. Without boundaries, others will treat us how they want to treat us and speak to us how they want to. There’s a saying, “If you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything”.
Here, I have listed 3 ways we can set healthy boundaries for ourselves.
1. Decide to speak up.
When you do not speak for yourself, you give others the opportunity to treat you based on what they assume. A simple, “no”, to something you disagree with, is all it takes. Let’s say you have a hard time explaining yourself, well guess what, you do not have to if it is not necessary. Learn your likes and dislikes and if something makes you uncomfortable say it. Imagine for a moment someone did something that you was not happy with. Such as borrowing your vehicle and returning it with empty food wraps, and the gas light is on.
You decided to not say anything, instead, you cleaned the vehicle because you do not want to create confusion. The following day you picked up this person, and guess what, they entered your vehicle, and upon entering, they’re eating, and also decided to bring their dog. You are not a fan of dogs. What do you do then? By expressing yourself politely, you give the person the opportunity to stop doing what is bothering you. This brings me to my next point.
2. Notice the people you want in your life and the ones to keep at a distance.
When you set boundaries for yourself, not everyone is going to respect them. That is ok though. Remember our boundaries are ours, which allow us to embrace ourselves and to maintain our peace. It is one of those methods in which we practice self-care. If you would agree, our life is like a book made up of chapters.
When you start maintaining your boundaries, you will notice the people who are meant to be around you, and the people who aren’t meant to be. Gracefully distance yourself from people who disturb your peace. You do not have to always say something because your peace is important and so are theirs.
3. Decide to keep some of your personal business to yourself.
I want to be really specific here, because this one may seem harsh. Our closest relationships are usually the ones we have with our family and friends. With that being said, they are the ones who get the front-row seat to experience the way we live our life.
In return, they tend to have an input on what we should, and should not do. Not all the time these inputs are uplifting. It is easy to get caught up in others’ opinions, suggestions, and all the loud noise of others. What I would recommend here is to trust yourself and the decisions you make. Not everyone has to know about your next planned decision.
These steps on how to set healthy boundaries, I believe will get you started in setting and maintaining your boundaries. I hope we all continue to set healthy boundaries for ourselves and continue to live a happy healthy life on our own terms.
Danicker 🖤
