To my dearest daughters Destiney and Lunar.
As I sit beside the both of you while you sleep so peacefully on this full moon night, this moment brings me a feeling of intense emotions. If anyone is to ever ask what is my reason it will undoubtedly be my kids. It is an honor to mother you both and I am eternally grateful. At times, I may not be the best mother, I can be, but as I navigate through life with both of you by my side, I am sure to get it right. On this day I am very intentional in releasing all fear that surrounds my thinking regarding my physical presence in this realm with you.
Since I’ve welcomed you, my youngest, into this world, there has been a lingering feeling of completeness. Your sister loves you dearly. She has been the most caring, loving, and helpful sibling you can ever dream to have. I can tell you both are best friends and will forever be. This thought warms my heart and brings me nothing short of peace and joy.
The experience of carrying you my youngest, was not the easiest when compared to my experience with your sibling. My back pains were intense, and my sciatic nerve gave me no ease, mainly when my body was in a relaxed position. I have heard a few people say carrying the child is more painful than actually giving birth to the child, I have to say I believe that statement to be true. However, It was all worth it. The labor experience, I can say was the shortest compared to what I experienced previously.
This is my birth story.
Initially, I wanted to have a natural home birth. However, my indecisiveness got in the way when it was time for me to make financial preparations to have a home birth. I must say this though, one of my reason for me being indecisive was mainly because of my previous birthing experience. This time I wanted to be very intentional about not having any kind of medical intervention during pregnancy, labor, and delivery. I wanted my body to do what it is designed to do when you were ready to come, into this world . However, I felt like that was not clearly understood, which caused me to keep second-guessing myself. Despite my tardiness, all financial payments were finally made around week 39…
At this point, it did not feel right nevertheless my thoughts were, “at least I can birth at home and not in the hospital“. ” I do not want any intervention all I need is for my OB to be present when it is time for me to have this baby”.
That day, It was advised for me to have a vaginal examination. When I say I wanted no intervention I also meant, no vaginal examination, therefore I refused. Let me tell you! I. WAS. NOT. EXPECTING. to go into labor the following day but until around week 41. To my pleasant surprise, you made your appearance on week 40 which was the following day after my doctor’s visit.
The labor and the delivery.
I started having contractions around 4 am. A strong cramping sensation in my lower stomach area (similar to the pain around my moon time). I thought they were false labor only because I had them a couple of weeks prior but stronger this time. At this point, the pain lasted about an hour and counting and was about 5-10 minutes apart. I decided to take a hot shower in an attempt to ease the pain, oh well, my groans only grew louder. I knew I was in labor but was unsure as to how far. During this time which was around, 5 am I contacted my doctor. The next thing I attempted was moving about less to slow down the pain, which clearly did not help.
Before a good five minutes could have passed, there was the “Bloody Show”, that’s all it took. With the hospital located just about ten minutes drive from the house, we got there which was probably around 6 or a few minutes past 6 am. Unfortunately, going to the hospital was the best thing to do at that moment… When the midwife examined me I was already 9 centimeters dilated. The only time left was for the midwives to prepare for your arrival. (Side note: going private for the entire pregnancy and then converting to the hospital system is not a good idea. Nevertheless…)
With a total of five pushes, you made your grand entrance around 8 am. The final push after your head was birthed, the midwife insisted I stop pushing to avoid perineal lacerations and potential Nuchal Birth Cord Injury. My body was not cooperating and immediately pushed. And there you were, my healthy, second-born, 6 lb, baby girl, Lunar🤍. Everything did not go how I intended for it to go, however, you did what you were supposed to do, on your own time. I am forever grateful.
All gratitude to God.
