Today is an amazing day. I’m actually chilling with the kids on this gloomy day. What’s new? your question makes me smile because you know, I’m always chilling with my kids. What’s new is this topic that popped into my mind. Why on earth would I even think the man is not yours. There must be some tea to give. Maybe I know something you need to know. Read me out though.
See here’s the habit of some of us, and this is to piggyback off my most recent post.
“My man, my man, my man!”. Honey, that man is not yours. First of all, he belongs to God, and he’s here to fulfill his purpose. You’re either complimenting his journey, or you’re holding him and yourself back, with that attitude. Secondly, if you’re not doing what needs to be done to keep “your man”, Why assume he’s your man?
What are you doing that another woman cannot do if you weren’t in the picture? Some of “us” females are barely serving our men yet we have the audacity to speak “my man”, in addition to being extremely territorial.
Chill with the territorial crap.
Speaking of territorial, when did it become a thing that, “Oh my man belongs to me”? Many of us females develop this attitude when dating, including myself, but it’s when we’re faced with reality, that we are reminded that that’s not the case. Of course, I am a female so I am speaking from a female perspective, and to those females who need this. That man does not belong to you, especially if you are not married. I assume it’s even worse from a man’s perspective.
When the topic came to mind it dawned on me how it’s easy for us to be driven by the ego when dating someone or being married to someone. The way in which “we” claim others to be ours, to a point where we shape our identity around this ego-driven belief…
The fact that we’re normalizing a lot of new trends in the dating world, is chaotic to our beings and our core values. On a wider scale, chaotic for the world. But that’s a whole other topic for another post.
The reality is this.
We are women, and we are on our individual journeys in life, as I’ve previously mentioned. It’s not about becoming territorial and super attached to another person, a man that is. When we do this, we set ourselves up for possible emotional turmoil, later on. I understand how our emotions can sometimes get in the way of our decisions. Especially if our man is “hot”.
Sis. come back to reality though, and think with your head. This journey is your journey.
You are more than your relationship, and the man you’re dating or married to. You have value to give to others. There are layers of yourself that you’re yet to learn.
Learn yourself.
It’s a good thing when a woman partners with a man to whom she can submit and commit herself. Having shared values and beliefs and decided they both prefer to do life together moving forward. Not forgetting you both are individuals, and you both may have different purposes in life. Being able to come together as one, but still have to ability to work on you all selves as individuals.
Relationships are great. I love to see love; it makes me happy.
But do not become lost in your relationship that you do not know who you are outside of your relationship. I never thought I’d be writing this because I was one of those females who gets hung up on, “My man, don’t speak to me, I’m in a relationship, my man comes first, I’ve got no time”. (I probably still have it in me, but what’s different is the perspective that I have now, I’ve never had).
Listen, Honey. The world exists outside of your relationship.
Get outside. Smell some flowers. Drink some water, and breathe. Figure out what you admire about life.
. . .
Yours truly,
