I was in the shower, as usual.
Maybe some of us do have a child-like love where we experience hurt and we scream, shout, curse, and all the added extra stuff. And within no time we’re back to normal ready to love and receive love as if we’ve never been disappointed before.
Something about childlike love reminds me of getting back to who I used to be when I was a child.
I’m an adult now, I’m not perfect and so my decisions will never be perfect. I make mistakes all the time because I am simply striving to achieve desires within me.
There’s no, wrong or right way to do life. I see we are all being ourselves at the end of the day, while also trying to live a life that is pleasing to our Heavenly Father.
I give myself grace to understand I’m not perfect, and having this mindset I find pleasure in sitting with myself while rethinking my actions to learn from my, “bad decisions”.
(Maybe we all can practice showing ourselves grace. Knowing that all our decisions would not be the best decision. Learning from hurt so we can move on and open ourselves once more to receive, and love others unconditionally, like the child we once were.)
One thing I’ve recently confirmed about myself is that I do not like having male friends. Nor do I feel like I need a male friend. With my desires, there’s no role for a male friendship in my life. I would not like to raise kids with a male friend. Can I be intimate with a male friend, of course not. I do not feel I can trust a male friend with my heart, It’s not worth it. I can speak about many topics randomly. All these things I’d like to do with one man, that is my husband. A male figure who would like to be my friend is someone I consider to be a distraction.
I am learning that it is a good thing to love another person without it being an intimate bond. Some of us cannot control who we love, or control the intense feelings we develop for others. If it is me, I don’t think I’d like to control that feeling. I prefer to continue to control the people I allow around me because regardless of my feelings. From a distance, I can always love them and desire only the best for them.
I never want to be the girl who loves another person based on certain conditions. Nor am I intentionally attracting anyone who loves me like that. Is that even love? And can we control who we love…
