The saying to whom much is given, much is expected, isn’t just some fancy saying. I am not very mature in age, in my opinion, (at the time of writing this post.) However, I do have some teachable experiences, where I learned the importance of detachment. I am eternally grateful for my experiences, because with experience comes wisdom. (In the moment I don’t say this though. Depending on what it is, I literally cry for some days. overeat, and question God. But don’t tell anyone that ok.) Throughout our life, we gain certain experiences because we need them to grow. To become better than we were prior to those experiences. What tends to happen is that “we” gain experience and instead of realizing our lessons from it, it’s the part that we often neglect.
Whether the experience was good or bad, it did not happen just because. What happens next, similar experiences present themselves to you, either for you to apply what was learned or to teach you what you previously failed to learn. In other words, a cycle repeating itself. When I say to whom much is given, I’m referring to experiences in this case. Many have experiences but it seems to stop there. I’ve asked the question previously, “so what did you learn?” and for some reason the answer was very vague. Not only that, but based on their actions, I can tell the lesson was not learned, or they intentionally choose not to apply it.
Experiences will teach you when to detach.
Now this brings me to say, when we do not know how and when to detach ourselves from people, places, things. When WE do not know when to DETACH ourselves. We tend to hold on longer than we should, when the purpose was only for a short period of time. You have to learn to detach yourself. Life is about learning and growing and helping others along the way, at least in my opinion. When we connect with others, we teach each other, consciously or subconsciously. But there is always a lesson. Analyze the situation, what is the lesson here? What am I being taught?
You did not have an experience to say, “oh, all women are trash.” Or “Men are horrible.” No honey, YOU don’t know when to detach. You don’t have boundaries, you don’t know your values. You don’t respect yourself. HOW YOU SEE YOURSELF is what you tolerate. Because if you saw yourself the way I saw you, you won’t be tolerating crap to diminish your energy. Now you have an experience that left a, “bad taste in your mouth”, and the only thing you choose to do is speak negatively about it. That’s ungrateful behavior if you ask me. Our real teachers are our experiences, not the ones in the classroom…
Detaching frees you from situations that can turn into toxic.
The thing is, the culture enjoys toxic. From my observation; people hold unto ex’s who once treated them like crap. Yet they’re looking for “the one”, all while communicating with their ex, like they’re best friends. Exes around family members chilling, and all the mess. No boundary setting, no one’s speaking up for themselves. People hold onto places that bring them stress. Their surroundings are cluttered with stuff from past relationships, or items they don’t use. The people they call friends aren’t the best to be around because they keep them stuck in old habits. All the hot mess is a sign of not knowing how to detach.
See, not knowing when to detach says a lot. The lack mindset isn’t a great head space to be in. Think about it, why are you afraid to detach? Whenever I detach myself, I think, I’ll get more, I’ll get better, or it will come back. Even if none of those occur, I already made up my mind that whatever occurs is what was meant to occur.
Just to be transparent because I’m human. I’ve detached myself from others before, after which I’ve questioned myself, was that the best decision I made. I’ll say, to know if it is the best decision, talk to God about it, and you’ll get signs, urge, etc. Does the person, place, thing, align with your values and who you are? Is the relationship contributing to your growth, and where you’re going? Is it healthy for them to be around you as you grow? Are they willing to grow with you?
Detaching creates space for what you do want.
You have to know who you are. To receive what you want, it means you have to detach from the things you don’t want. BE WILLING to detach. When you do this, you make room to receive. My closet has a handful of clothing, because I chose to donate, and simply get rid of pieces, that reminded me of memories I don’t want to hold onto. I’m not saying be ungrateful. We’re grateful, however, everything and everyone serves a purpose for a period of time in our lives. Some people and some things will be around for our lifetime, and some just won’t.
Life is a journey, it’s a process. Some lows are really low, I know. But the highs come, and we just need to enjoy it, and be grateful, for it all, as they both allow us the opportunity for self-growth. When we have life, we still have a chance. And what our present situation looks like now won’t look the same tomorrow, or in a few months to come.
Learn your lesson. Detach yourself. Be grateful. Open yourself to receive. And be ready to rebuild.
