She may never see this post; however, it was inspired by the Immigration Tech Founder of the UpRow app. Having heard her speak on this topic recently, the season of dysfunction. I was compelled to write a post on this topic myself from my point of view. It is always interesting for me when I listen to others’ experiences while navigating an area of their life that somehow seems relatable to mine.
You know that stage in life where you’re like, Oh I cannot wait to become an adult. If you are anything like me or can relate to me, then you know we think a lot. Like A LOT. De-other day, I was sitting and my mind drifted to the fact that I cannot recall there was ever anytime in life when I wanted to become an adult. Circumstances did not allow me to think that way. I was a child but my lifestyle back then caused me to think on a mature level at an early age. At a very young age I felt like I had to be responsible, and nothing less.
Fast forward to me having my eldest daughter and deciding to be at home with no solid foundation of my own. There are a few times I sit and think about the decision and if it was the best, but I consider that thought as self-doubt. I know for sure it was what I wanted to do for myself and my kids. I probably sent out 2 applications with no responses. It could have been that my resume was just horrible, or God is saying to have faith, there is something better ahead. I believe it’s the latter. Nevertheless…
Season of Dysfunction.
When I think about the season of dysfunction, the season of waiting, the season of uncertainty, whatever you call it. it’s not to say that I am claiming it, but I’ve acknowledged it. There are many parts I could have taken however the part I chose require me to trust in my decision. It requires me to have patience while working on my goals even when there’s no results. Most importantly to have faith in God’s timing. Although there Is not much clarity, it feels right. This is the season I am intentionally pouring into cups that I hope to drink from in the future.  I have no idea which I should be focusing on and which I should not be focusing on.
All I have is a clear vision of where I see myself and my kids in the near future. Every decision I make I am very intentional that this is a stepping stone to get to where I want to be at.
In the midst of it all, procrastination is trying its thing though. I have been stepping out of my comfort zone lately but at the same time, I do not want to be seen. For about 5 years now, what I love is outside my comfort zone. It aligns perfectly with me being a stay-at-home mother. I believe this would be a major progress for me but I’ve just been holding back simply because everything isn’t how I want it to be.
I know I am going to get it together, I know that for a fact, there’s no doubt about that. But, I just wanted to write this post as an acknowledgment of the season I am in, and, the work I need to put in to get to where I’m going.
Remember to talk to God DAILY! and, have faith in God and trust that It will all happen, on God’s time. You got to put in the work though, it proves you want what God wants for you. Later now.
