“You sleeping?”
“No. Why?”
“Look at this. Is this…?”
“No. Can’t be. I would have been told something.”
“You think so? I sure this is… You don’t know who you dealing with.”
“No, it’s not. Go and get some rest. It can’t be. Goodnight.”
Days After.
“I told you.”
“I just cannot believe it. I thought we were better than this.”
“Well, it’s your fault. You always keep to yourself; that is why they never felt comfortable saying anything to you. That is your fault!”
. . .
Lately, I’ve been receiving what I ask for, but not how I envisioned it to go. And the epiphany in this moment, as I write, is that I probably need to be more specific when I’m asking.
In life, you have to turn your back to see how people really feel about you.
You look me in my face and smile, and you call me family. But then YOU TAKE what I use without permission the moment I leave. And the moment you get to claim it, you do just that. That’s crossed boundaries; That’s broken trust. I was never able to fix a glass that broke. Why? I wanted to give it. My intentions were to release. I’ve asked many times. See,
“You don’t want to use what I have. You want to claim what I have.”
That is what you prove.
The last thing you want to do is cross my boundaries; break my trust. I STILL got the keys; how the fuck YOU got in? And the audacity to not ask- you have some nerve. Even after the fact, you said nothing. This is what’s disappointing.
“One time, is all it takes.”
I asked for this; I just did not expect it to go that way. It just had to occur that way so I could see who I’m dealing with.
You thought I was gone for long. You wanted me to be.
So, What Do I learn Here?
I’m reminded: nothing in this life belongs to me, even if I own it. It’s really borrowed. But the little you have access to, sometimes it’s the people right in your corner who want the little you have.
I sensed YOU years back. But there wasn’t a stamp. Now I know where I stand.
