I don’t apologize for being my own muse. But while this is true, I also thoroughly enjoy taking pictures of myself without displaying my face, and well unexpected shots of myself I like them too. Do I also downplay myself? I DO. I don’t give myself enough credit, and so I act that way. That used to be intentional, but now it’s my reality. Comparing me to my younger sibling is one of the reasons she and I don’t see eye to eye. But comparison won’t cause division between my sibling and I. That man is a boy, long eye since day one. Thank God he could never have been the one.
While I’m good at a few things, I don’t have my life all the way figured out. Not to blame my sign, but I’m a Gemini, and I’m hella indecisive. My kids praise me for making bread for them weekly; of course that means the world to me. My oldest says I’m wasting my cooking skills; I need to sell. Him and I aren’t intimate, but we have a good relationship for our kids, and that is what matters; maybe I might move in. For some reason, people like separated parents to hate each other. 2 things can exist at the same time; you don’t settle for disrespect, but they’re also going to support you. We’re in 2026; my ancestors probably knew about sticking it out because the finances were there. Having faith, I choose differently. Having faith is what took me to a foreign country with my kids, for the purpose of putting myself in a new environment, seeking a new opportunity. What is my dream life if I don’t have a stable income? I had zero proof of funds at entry and also nowhere to stay…
I cannot say I got it out the mud. My parents did their best. I’m living in my mother’s house that I probably have to pay for in the near future. I have 2 girls. I enjoy homeschooling, but 2 options are stressing me to fuck out. Continue to do what I want by being at home with my kids daily and homeschooling. Or go get a job where the income is more secure. I’m not sure about our life tomorrow, yet my concern is making sure my girls have a home base in the future with no drama attached to it. They’d rather see you chasing a career than a life raising your kids; then they say females are masculine.
Thank God I’m not desperate to be in a relationship that I settle for just any man who’s still unsure about his purpose in life. Staying home and taking care of my children is the most fulfilling act I’ve ever done in my entire life thus far. Jobs are difficult to obtain; you have to know someone. I’ve got qualifications, yet somewhere along the line, I’m desiring to obtain more, preparing for the job I’ll do when my kids get older, after God. Crime Scene Investigation is calling my name, but I don’t know if it’s worth my time. 2 years’ probation as an officer first; the system is fucked up that 2 might just turn to 5.
I may not have the kind of money you need to help with your bills. What I have is quite boring, and what you’re ashamed to speak of. God bless my girls and my future grandkids. May my reality be one where I’m never ashamed to speak about my offspring.
